“We will promote democracy in USA” Putin

7 Oct

Kremlin,Moscow

Sunday,7 October

   Russian President Putin vowed to bring democracy to USA in coming years.

   “Russia is committed to bring democracy to USA and whole world,” Putin said in an interview on the Central Television program broadcast on the NTV television network on Sunday.

    “I think USA is controlled by bankers,corporate honchos,lobbyists,think tanks and defense contractors.US media is corrupt and bigoted.The American two party system is just a sham.Seems like USA don’t have finer democratic traditions and freedoms like Russia.These people live in middle age and need to be taught.We will teach Americans how to run a democratic country in modern world. We might try to carry our red revolution in USA.” Putin said.

    Upon being asked whether he wants to send any of the powerful American elites to labor camps just like he did with Mikhail Khodorkovsky.

    “Off course,we have been searching for a suitable location to set up labor camps.So far we have fixed few location in Alaska and Nevada.We Russians are known to punish blood sucking businessmen and we will do that in USA too.The wealth looted by corrupt elites needs to be shared by proletariat not only by elites.”

     Upon being asked which elites he wasnt to be jailed specifically,Putin said,” Madonna,Justin Bieber,Lady Gaga and everybody who earns above $ 25,000 per year.”

     The president was very sad upon falling behind USA in jailing its residents.

   “The recent rise in killing of American civilians by American law enforcement is a disturbing trend and needs to be curbed. It reminds me of USSR under Beria and Stalin.The only difference is no visible dictator or political doctrine  is apparent in USA..We can provide that and establish worker’s paradise.”

  “For a very long time,Russia maintained maximum number of prisoners in its prisons and now USA have overtaken us.I won’t allow it to continue.We were number one and we will be…”Said Putin while breaking table into two with his judo kick.

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