Archive | August, 2012

NSA to offshore its data mining work to India

31 Aug

Fort George G. Meade, Maryland

Date and source.shared on need to know basis

     U.S.A.’s domestic spy agency NSA will soon start sending huge chunk of data for data mining work to some unnamed Indian software companies.It has to be noted that NSA is responsible for spying on every known communication in U.S. and rest of the world.

    The scale of the operations at the NSA is hard to determine from unclassified data; some 18,000 parking spaces are visible in photos of the site. In 2006,The Baltimore Sun reported that the NSA was at risk of electrical overload because of insufficient internal electrical infrastructure at Fort Meade to support the amount of equipment being installed. This problem was apparently recognized in the 1990s but not made a priority, and “now the agency’s ability to keep its operations going is threatened.”

    NSA has already built its first Comprehensive National Cyber-security Initiative (CNCI) Data Center; the “Utah Data Center” at Camp Williams,Utah at the cost of US$ 1.5 Billions.Apparently,it is not enough.

    The extensive collection of every call made by U.S. citizens,current bank account information,travel details,internet activity,traffic photos have burdened NSA so much that it is collecting 5 terabites of information everyday.Excluding U.S.,NSA tries to collect information from every country of world because current U.S. military doctrine say every country except Israel is its sworn enemy.

    This huge flow of information makes it impossible to mine data for terrorists(terrorist is a general term used to describe anybody who opposes U.S. govt in any form). Apart from this,cost pressures seems to have forced NSA bosses to look for an alternative and it seems they found it.

    Indian companies are glad to get this huge contract and hope no important data collected by NSA remains secure.



“If U.S. doesn’t attack Iran,God will punish U.S.” Netanyahu

31 Aug

Tel Aviv

31 august,2012

    Speaking on behalf of all Israeli people and powerful Jewish lobby in U.S.,Israel P.M. ordered U.S. to attack Iran as soon as possible.The P.M. was addressing Knesset today.

   “We are tired of U.S. duplicity and complicity in its treatment to Iran.The mullah who control Iran are insane and want to attack Israel.If U.S. doesn’t send its military to occupy Iran,Our Lord The God will be very angry about it.How can patriotic christian Americans not obey commands given by Our  God The Lord ?”

   Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s views are widely respected by U.S. Congress and they never fail to obey commands given by him.

CIA drug business profit touches 1 trillion.

26 Aug

26 August,2012


CIA’s drug business revenue have touched one trillion dollars mark  as informed  by CIA’s director of finance.It has to be reminded that CIA have a flourishing drug business in every corner of globe.

“Yes ,our business is going strong and we just have one trillion dollar profit.Our drug business in Northern America including US,Mexico,Canada played a big part.We are also developing new business paradigms in Afghanistan and closely working with Taliban and Afghanistan authorities to further our mutual interests.” said the director on condition of anonymity.

“Our only gripe is against DEA and other local anti-narcotics departments of various countries.Here we are,patriotic and business minded Americans,earning a honest dollar and these dishonest leeches from DEA always try to disrupt our profitable operation.But we always stay ahead of them by planting our agents in DEA.”Said another CIA operative.

When asked about deaths of innocent children,young people and police officers,the CIA director said”That can not be helped.You drill for oil,some bird and fishes will die.You sell drugs,people cry against us.We are providing an essential and life saving service to humanity.May be police officers should not look hard after our drug business.Yes,i think that may be a good solution.”

The emerging center for CIA’s drug business is Afghanistan.With control over world’s highest supplier of Opium ,CIA’s joy knows no bounds.From last 10 years,CIA have helped afghani farmers to reintroduce poppy and opened many refineries.The transport facilities offered by NATO ,ISI and pak militaries have helped reduce costs by whopping 50 % and increased profits by 70 %.Opium business is life sustaining force of afghan populace,apart from resisting foreign invaders.

The current cartel wars in Mexico seems to have hampered drug movement into usa,but covert plane rides by CIA controlled planes have almost solved the problem and drug user in Washington DC are a very happy lot.

U.S. Mafia wants to move out to Africa

3 Aug

Las Vegas and New York

3 rd August,2012.

      After suffering high profile arrests and conviction of reputed leaders and suffering a steady harassment from government agencies,cosa nostra have decided to move out permanently from U.S.

     It has got so bad that current leader of Gambino family suffered a nervous breakdown while ordering pizza on phone.The leaders of other mafia families have uniformely decided to withdraw their investments from U.S. and move to some unnamed country in Africa.

      “It is fucking deathtrap here in fucking U.S.Federal agents everywhere.NDAA,SRA….and all other alphabet laws.It has got so bad that i can’t fucking talk to my bookies without consulting my lawyer.Feds always allowed to operate us but now the mood has changed.They want to brand us terrorist.Terrorists!It is fucking outrage.Calling born and bred patriotic U.S. mob member terrorist?Do i look like terrorist to you? I think i am living under dictatorship.I will soon be shifting to Sudan.I heard there is lot of business opportunities.There are no freedoms in this country anymore…” said a mafia member to this correspondent.

   “We always cooperated with alphabet agencies…helped them catching communist spies and what not.But they have taken over our business.Can’t supply drugs,can’t run numbers..can’t supply gals and boys to congress….everything is takes over by feds.How the fuck honest,hard working folks like us can survive…This reminds of days my grandpa spent under Mussolini in Sicily.Man,it is worst over here.”Said another mob leader who is spending 25 years in jail.

  It is reported that cosa nostra empire in U.S. alone had turnover of more than 200 billion.Their business activities include Prostitution,Racketeering,Loan sharking,Murders etc

  “Feds,banks and corporations have taken over our legitimate business….We are leaving our beloved country..” said another mob button who murdered 26 people before his arrest.